Monday, May 7, 2012

An Excerpt: Real Vampires Don't Sparkle!

- an excerpt from To Hell In A Handbasket to be published in May 2012. "Halos & Horns" Book 3:

She glanced across the room and saw Pandora reclining in a chair, absorbed in a book. “What are you reading?”

Pandora folded her page and looked up. “It’s the new Paige Turner Nightfall novel. It’s wizard!”

Sharon sighed. “How can you read that drivel, Panda?”

“Everyone reads Nightfall. It makes it cool to be a sucker.”

“As if!” Sharon rolled her eyes. “That dreck’s not about suckers. All her vampires are hot guys, her women are helpless imbeciles, and no one in her books ever graduated from high school. And what’s with that nonsense about her vampires twinkling in sunlight? Until the Great Eclipse, we’d have fried after three seconds in the sun.”

Pandora closed the book. “If you want to know, you should read the series,” she replied in a haughty tone.

“I don’t want to know. It’s dumb. It’s ludicrous. It’s downright insulting. She makes us look like glow-in-the-dark Care Bears!” Sharon grabbed the book and tossed it into the trash. “As a vampire, you should know better than anyone: Real… vampires… don’t… twinkle!”

Pandora pouted for several seconds before an epiphany brought a smile to her face. “We could, if we sprinkled ourselves with glitter. They do it at all the raves now, Sharon.”

Sharon fumed. “We’re vampires, not Glitter Goths, Panda!”

“You used to be a lot more fun.”

Sharon gave her a stern look. “We don’t twinkle. We don’t sprinkle. We don’t glitter.”

Pandora grimaced. “Could we sparkle?”

“Arrgh!” Sharon raised her hands to her head in frustration.

“You’re working too hard. Let’s go find a rave tonight. We haven’t been out in ages.”

Sharon sighed in capitulation. “Oh, all right. But no glitter.”

Pandora whipped out a plastic tube of glitter. “Not even if I score you an autographed copy of Nightfall? Cody’s been hired to design the cover of Paige Turner’s next book. She’s coming to Las Vegas, and I may even get to meet her.”

“Oh, joy!” Sharon’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “Maybe you could sink your fangs into her and see if she glistens.”

- an excerpt from To Hell In A Handbasket to be published in May 2012. "Halos & Horns" Book 3 -- Third time's the charm!

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