Saturday, January 28, 2012

Joe the Plumber?

Ever had a houseguest who’s overstayed his welcome?

He’s broken everything in your home and on his way out the door, he stops to use your bathroom. He flushes the toilet and it overflows. “See ya!” he shouts, heading out the door.

You rush into the bathroom and discover two inches of raw sewage lining the floor and see a geyser of sludge bursting from the latrine. Quickly, you trod through the muck, bend down and turn off the water valve. The geyser recedes, but your shoes are covered in something that smells awful… and it’s seeping through the shoe leather.

You rush over to your neighbor to borrow a plunger. He says, “Sure, I have a one, but I’m not going to give it to you.” His buddy next door adds, “You should really be focusing on pumping more water. That’ll flush everything out of your house.”

You return home, befuddled by their attitudes. Facing a tremendous repair and cleanup, you improvise. You throw towels on the floor to soak up the water, spray some air freshener to give your sense of smell a moment’s respite, then drop to your knees with a wire coat hanger in an attempt to snake out the toilet. And that’s when your wife walks in.

You tell her it could have been worse. Somehow, she seems to take small comfort in that, even though it’s true, had you not acted as you did, you would both be up to your eyeballs in sewage, not your ankles. Your wife has to decide whether to stay in the relationship or dump you in November. Your name is Barack Obama and you’re still cleaning up the mess your Texan White Houseguest left. Your Republican neighbors aren’t going to lift a finger to help because they want you to move out of the neighborhood. The economy still stinks but it could have been much, much worse. People seems to take small comfort in that. The voters must decide whether to stay in the relationship with you, or dump you for the Texan’s cousin from Utah. What are you going to do?

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