Friday, April 1, 2011

May I Speak to Amber?

As many of you know, Amber Book Company is named after my dog Amber. I knew it would only be a matter of time before this happened:

Today the phone rang. “Hello, may I speak to Amber?”

I was slightly taken aback, because while my dog is generally more popular than I am, she seldom receives phone calls.

Me: “Who’s calling, please?”

Her: “This is DHL. We have a delivery and I need to speak to the addressee, Amber.”

Me: “Are you sure the addressee isn’t Amber Book Company?”

Her: “No, sir. My screen says ‘Amber.’”

Me: “Perhaps your screen truncated the name? May I help you?”

Her: “No sir, I can only speak to the addressee; may I speak to Amber please?”

Me: “You really don’t want to speak to Amber; she’s a bitch.”

Her: “That’s O.K., sir. I deal with those all day long.”

Me: “No, I mean she’s a real dog.”

Her: “Seriously sir, I can handle it but I must speak to Amber.”

Me: “O.K., hold on.” I called out “Amber!” and she trotted to my desk. I lowered the phone to her ear and put it on speaker mode.

Me: “O.K., Amber’s on speaker phone.”

Her: “Amber, this is DHL. We need to confirm your delivery address.”

She read the address over the speaker phone.

Me: “Amber is nodding that’s correct. She has to go now. Is there anything else?”

Her: “No sir, thank you. You and Amber have a good day.”

© 2009 Keith B. Darrell. All Rights Reserved.


  1. BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....*holds her sides, trying to stop them from hurting* ok, ok...can't breathe...*blinks* BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    "I deal with those all day."...Seriously!?!?!? lol :P Too funny! Thanks for sharing with us! D:

  2. I'm sorry I can't stop laughing long enough to write........

    Oh thank you I needed that.

  3. That is hysterical! You and Amber just made my day.

    I have a similar story from when I was trying to sort out my deceased mom's bills. The idiot at the phone company kept telling me that they couldn't help me until they spoke to my mom. I had already told her 3 times that mom had passed away as well as showing her the death certificate. I was so frustrated that I finally just told her I'd have mom call her personally.

    Makes me wonder if this woman now works for DHL?

    Thanks for the laugh!!

  4. OMG! LOL! That is just too funny; but I can see it happening. These people use a pre-written script. If you deviate, they can't deal!

  5. What a great story-thanks for sharing! Still LOL

  6. Any dog lover is a friend of mine. Very creative.