I was reading an aspiring writer’s profile when I was struck
by the answer she had given to the question of why she wished to join a
critique group. It was a mere one-word response, yet it struck me as incredibly
profound; so much so, I imagined a light bulb appeared above my head announcing
my epiphany.
Her stated reason for joining: validation. Although she
believed her writing to be good, she sought the consensus of others to reaffirm
that belief.
No matter how much we hold ourselves in high esteem, self
doubt lingers. Even when we know how good we are, we require the validation of
others to make it real. Recall Sally Fields’ earnestly modest 1984 Oscar
acceptance speech: “You like me; you really liked me.”
It occurred to me, everyone needs validation. We need it
from another person – a lover, a friend, an employer. We need it from society. And
it finally explains why people post all those inane or pithy posts on Facebook
and wait for the “likes” or comments to appear underneath: they need, and
receive, validation online via the Internet.
Feel free to validate below.
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