I went to see my dermatologist today.
“You have a liver spot on your face,” she said.
“That’s impossible,” I replied. I explained I was a writer,
a crafter of ageless tales, who, through some arcane attribute akin to the
Picture of Dorian Gray, was able to ward off senescence and hold the
encroaching years at bay. Like Oscar Wilde’s magical portrait, my characters
aged on the printed page in my stead, not I.
“You’re growing old,” she explained.
I ignored her laconic diagnosis and bade her to remove the
offending spot, which she did. Having channeled my Shakespearean muse (“Out, damned
spot. Out, I say.”), I proceeded to dine with my grandmother that evening.
“I saw my dermatologist today. She found a liver spot. She
says I’m getting old.”
“Only one?” the 102 ½-year-old asked. (Half years, ignored
by most of us, are enormously important to those under 10 or over 100 and must
therefore be accorded the significance due them.)
I sighed. “The time sneaked by so quickly, like a furtive
mouse in a house filled with cats. Where did it go and how do I call it back?” I
thought of my grandmother’s rich legacy of children, grandchildren, and
great-grandchildren. I contrasted it with my own legacy. My children bore
spines, but neither hands nor feet. They came into the world as hardcovers and
softcovers, and I labored as long and as hard as any woman to birth them. Long
after I was gone, my literary issue would serve as my legacy. Their pages would
keep my memory alive, reminding strangers yet born, for a little while I shared
the same air and grass and sky as they, and, at least for the time it took them
to read my words, I mattered.
I glanced down at my fountain (of youth) pen, and to my
dismay, realized it was only a Bic, and held less than half the ink I had
started with. So many pages yet to write, so little ink.
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