Friday, November 20, 2015

Interview with a Terrorist

Q:  First off, I’d like to thank you for giving me the opportunity to interview you.
A:  It is my pleasure to speak to the Americans and other Westerners through you so that they may learn how we have plotted their destruction.

Q: When you say “we”, you’re referring to ISIS I presume?
A: We are the Islamic State – al-Dawla al-Islamiya.

Q: How long have you been a member of ISIS; excuse me, I mean the Islamic State?
A: For many years now. At one time, we were known as al-Qaeda in Iraq.

Q: I want to hear your viewpoint on current events involving terrorism. There is a lot of fear in America right now. Americans are afraid you want us dead.
A: Of course we want you Americans dead. I would kill you right now if I did not need you to get my message out to your fellow infidels.

Q: But why? That’s what we want to know. What did we do to you to make you hate us enough to want to kill us all?
A: You did not have to do anything, other than exist. You are not believers; you are infidels, and therefore you must be cleansed from the earth.

Q: So the Paris attacks weren’t retaliation for some perceived affront? You killed those innocent people because they weren’t like you and therefore didn’t deserve to live?
A: Exactly.

Q: Our intelligence community estimates there are 200,000 Islamic State members. There are 320 million Americans. We outnumber you by 1,600-to-1. Don’t you think your plan to kill all of us is a bit optimistic?
A: (laughter). We do not plan to kill you; our plan is to destroy you. More specifically, our plan is to make you destroy yourselves.

Q: That sounds even more optimistic, or delusional. Why are you smiling?
A: Because we have already won and you simply haven’t realized yet.

Q: What do you mean?
A: What is America? The legendary land of individual freedom; a melting pot of people from all races, nationalities, and religions who have come for generations from across the world in search of the so-called American Dream. We have taken it from you and in so doing we have destroyed America.

Q: I don’t understand.
A: What did your nation do after the first terrorist attack on your soil on September 11th? It curtailed all of your individual freedoms: your government spies on your phone calls and emails and tracks the Websites you visit. It passed the PATRIOT Act, which was anything but patriotic, further curtailing your individual liberties in the name of “security”. Americans may now be detained indefinitely in military jails without being charged with any crime. Your government may now demand any personal records held by any source, including your doctor, employer, accountant, or even a library, if it claims it is related to an investigation into “terrorism.” It may now conduct secret searches and wiretaps in your home or office without having to show probable cause.

Q: Granted, the PATRIOT Act was a knee-jerk reaction… An outrageous overreaction that Congress has inexplicably and repeatedly renewed, but nonetheless it’s been 14 years since 9/11 and America is still here.
A: But it is not the same America. It is no longer Home of the Free, and now, thanks to us, it is no longer Home of the Brave, either. The cowardly French are even braver than you Americans. We attacked Paris, the heart of France, and made it bleed. Yet France is increasing the number of Syrian refugees it is taking in, from 24,000 to 30,000, while you Americans refuse to accept a mere 10,000 of the four million Syrian refugees.

Q: Not all Americans feel that way. Only 56 percent of the country, 31 governors of the 50 states, and the majority of the House of Representatives.
A: That’s more than half of your nation’s people and its leaders. America, land of immigrants? Bah! No more. Thanks to the Islamic State, the American dream is dead. We have made you destroy everything you stood for. You should tear down your Statue of Liberty and replace it with a guard tower.

Q: Yes, I saw the same NBC News/Survey Monkey poll. But Americans are good people and will do the right thing in the end.
A: (laughter). You are naïve. We follow your presidential campaign closely. Have you heard what your future leaders are saying? Presidential candidate Ben Carson compared Syrian refugees to “rabid dogs” whom you wouldn't want near your children. Jeb Bush and Ted Cruz want a religious test for refugees, in violation of your own U.S. Constitution. Donald Trump said he would deport any Syrian refugees President Obama allows in even though half of the 2,000 already in the U.S. are children and another quarter are more than 60 years old. Trump also said he would consider warrantless searches of Muslims, issuing them identity cards, and forcing them to register in a database. Isn’t that what the Nazis did to Jews when they made them wear yellow stars to identify themselves as Jews?

Q: Well, yes but…
A: And did not Trump – the likely Republican nominee for president of your country – say yesterday, “Certain things will be done that we never thought would happen in this country in terms of information and learning about the enemy. And so we’re going to have to do certain things that were frankly unthinkable a year ago”?

Q: Well, yes but…
A: Adolf Hitler rose to power saying the same things. Is this still your America? Or do you realize now that we have already won?

Q: Look, a lot of crazy things get said in the heat of a presidential race.
A: Then what about your governors and mayors? Yesterday, David A. Bowers, the mayor of Roanoke, Virginia, talking about the Syrian refugees cited the use of concentration camps for Japanese-Americans during World War II. Is that your America?

Q: Again, that’s just one man, even if he is a government official.
A: Are you blind? Yesterday, your House of Representatives voted to stop the Syrian refugee program that would have admitted 10,000 refugees. That pleases me. Perhaps I will see my Badia again when the unwanted refugees are forced to return to the war-torn land they once called home.

Q: Who is Badia?
A: A very pretty girl – nine years old. We captured her family on a raid. I beheaded her father in front of her and her mother. My friends took turns raping her mother before they killed her, but I kept Badia alive so I could rape her. Unfortunately, she fled with other refugees, but thanks to your wonderful country she may soon be forced to return.

Q: Don’t count on it. You’re referring to H.R. 4038, the American Security Against Foreign Enemies Act, which the Republican-controlled House of Representatives passed by a 289-to-137 vote. But before it becomes a law that bill still has to pass the Senate, and even if it does, President Obama has vowed to veto it.
A: But you know it is an unrealistic law designed solely to end the refugee program. It mandates the heads of the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security, and the Director of National Intelligence, personally certify that each of the 10,000 refugees being allowed into the U.S. does not pose a security threat. If it does pass, the Islamic State will look forward to watching your three top security leaders spend all of their time doing nothing else but examining each refugee while we plot more terrorist acts.

Q: Admittedly that is a rather stupid requirement that would be impossible to enforce because, as you say, the heads of our intelligence agencies have more important things to do, like putting an end to your organization. But the bill is very popular because people think it will keep them safe.
A: Safe from whom? The poor refugees who are running from us? Women and children like Badia, who have been abused and seen their loved ones murdered? This is whom you fear?

Q: It’s true that 2,000 Syrian refugees have been admitted to the United States since 2001 and not one has been arrested on domestic terrorism charges. But after the Paris attacks, Americans fear Syrian terrorists might…
A: The Paris attacks were carried out by French and Belgian recruits, not Syrians.

Q: … Pretend to be refugees to sneak into the United States.
A: (laughter). Why would we do that? The Islamic State is not stupid. Refugees must wait 18-to-24 months before being allowed to enter the United States, and then only after they have passed rigorous and thorough security background checks.

Q: But…
A: It is much easier for us to enter your country through the Visa Waiver Program. Every year, 20 million people do so with minimal screening. We can leave from a European country and be in the United States legally with no vetting within 24 hours. Once we are in America, we can buy all the guns and weapons we want, legally. We can even speak out publicly against America and not be arrested.

Q: Maybe the Syrian refugees are simply frightened children and their families, fleeing butchers like you. But surely you can understand why Americans would fear them?
A: Of course. It is simple fear-mongering and bigotry. What puzzles me is why you would fear them so much while accepting your nation’s homegrown terrorists shooting up schools, shopping centers, and movie theaters. You already have terrorists on American soil, but their faces are American, not Syrian.

Q: So in conclusion, you’re saying by using terror to make us fear you, you’ve forced us to change our values and our laws, destroying everything America has stood for since its founding?
A: Now you understand. We have already won. This interview is over. There is nothing more to say.

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