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Sunday, March 13, 2016

President Trump

Dateline: January 27, 2017, Washington, DC.  One week after his inauguration following in historic landslide election victory, President Donald Trump held a press conference in the Rose Garden to respond to Congress’ rejection of his economic stimulus plan.

“Congress has a 9% public approval rating,” President Trump said. “They're losers! The American people disapprove of the job Congress is doing. That’s because Congress isn’t doing anything and it hasn’t for decades. All it’s done is obstruct both Democratic and Republican presidents who have tried to help the American people.”

President Trump held up a calendar. “Congressmen work only 139 days a year and get paid $174,000. For what? Most of these losers don’t even show up for hearings or votes during those 139 days. When they do, they vote the way their lobbyists and campaign donors tell them to. They’re not voting for you, the American people. By rejecting my economic program — and let me tell you, it’s a great program — Congress is voting to hurt the American people.”

Raising his pen, President Trump looked sternly into the cameras. “That’s why, on behalf of you, the American people, I am signing this executive order disbanding the Congress. The polls show 91% of Americans already disapprove of the terrible job Congress has done, so I say, ‘Congress, you’re fired!’”

Reaction to the president’s executive order disbanding Congress came swiftly. Senators and representatives immediately denounced the action and promised to file lawsuits against the president. As a constitutional issue, the U.S. Supreme Court would have original jurisdiction over the case; however with three unfilled vacancies on the high court, and no Congress to object to his judicial appointments, it is likely that by the time the case reaches the court it would be heard by a majority of Justices appointed by, or favorably inclined toward, the president.

President Trump has intimated he might issue another executive order, this time aimed at the Supreme Court, if he feels he is being treated unfairly by the Justices. “I have to be treated fairly,” President Trump told reporters at the press conference. “If I’m treated fairly, I’m fine.”

“All I’ve ever wanted is to be treated fairly,” President Trump said. “You know, the press doesn’t treat me fairly either. The latest Gallup poll showed 60% of Americans distrust the media. Maybe we should think about letting the government run the newspapers and TV news outlets so Americans can get honest news.” President Trump smirked. “Trump Network News — I like the sound of that. It’s going to be tremendous!”

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